An adult’s letter to Santa

Tyler HurstBlog5 Comments

Dear Santa –

Hey big guy. Been a while. Years and years. Hope you’re doing well.

Anyway, I’d like to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ever thinking that once I discovered your secret, that you were no longer relevant. I’m sorry that I dismissed you as a childhood fantasy. I’m sorry that I didn’t see you as a symbol of hope, a rallying point for many of us and a sign that everything is going to be okay.

We can all be Santa.

I don’t have a full-time job this year, Santa. I get by with some contract work and I still have a nice place to live, a car that runs, clothes to wear, a fantastic girlfriend, the (usual) support of a great community and, most important of all, I haven’t lost hope. Life may not be rosy, but it sure as hell doesn’t suck. I’m not sad about this.

My dad still doesn’t have a job. He’s 61 years old, works harder and longer than anyone I’ve ever met and cares deeply for his wife and me and my siblings. He’s pretty passionate about camping and hiking and we even race half marathons together now. While I certainly don’t want him to stay unemployed, I’d like to thank whoever gave him some extra time to train and run with me. I was never big on camping or hunting, and I’m glad I’m finally able to share a pastime with him. So could you renew his hope a bit this Christmas? I want him to know everyone will be all right.

I had him watch the Lemonade movie. He liked that. He also attends webinars regularly. He’s trying Santa, but I can’t imagine how tough it must be to have your entire industry change. It’s not that he’s not able to adapt, it’s just, like many baby boomers, tough to even figure out how. I want him to be passionate about something. I want him to love what he does as much as I love whatever it is I get to do daily.

Also, this will be my family’s last Christmas where we’ll definitely all be in the same place. My brother is married, my sister is engaged and me, well, I live a long ways away. We’ve had Christmas in the same house, with the tree in the same place, for now our 29th year. December 24th, up until this year, has been the only day every immediately family member has been in my parent’s house, sleeping. We had a good run, and now that we’re all growing up, things are changing.

My family's Christmas movie.

I’d like you to tell my Mom it’s going to be okay, too. She worries about the kids (mostly me) and I need her to know I’m going to be fine. My siblings are actual adults now and I kinda am too. It’s time we start our own traditions, but we’ll always be thankful for those we grew up with.

I’d like something from you, too. I’d like help keeping my pessimism at bay. I call myself a realist, but we both know that’s a stretch. I’m too used pointing out the bad, mostly because I know how to fix the crappy stuff. I want to figure out how to make the good stuff better. I want to be able to pull my own weight, inspire others and build something that outlasts me.

World peace, love and happiness are all important too. If you need to, go ahead and solve those problem’s first. I suggest showing people how alike, rather than different, we are. I learned that very thing this year and turned a few enemies into at least neutral parties. If I can do it, why can’t everyone else? My reasons are just as crazy arbitrary.

I know you’re busy, Santa. Don’t worry if you have a lot of other things to do, because I can wait. I can start doing this stuff myself, too. I can spread hope and joy and cheesy blog posts and hard work and a critical eye and happiness. I have a lot of those to give.

I hope everyone else does too.

Tyler HurstAn adult’s letter to Santa

5 Comments on “An adult’s letter to Santa”

  1. Pingback: What does This Time of Year Mean to Me? « Freedom Apparatus

  2. Dawn

    I really miss reading to all my younger cousins “twas the night before Christmas and”, you know. My family was so strong then. I had no idea how ugly life wld be. My grandpa was everything, he was our Santa, my best friend. My parents divorced. A year later my house burnt completely down. We were in debt so the insurance hadn’t been paid. But I was safe, my family was safe. My grandpa came and picked me up, he always did. Then on DEC 16 that next year he passed away. I was home alone. By now my mom was a drug addict, my step father also was addicted to cocaine and strip clubs. A few months later my mom started demanding rent. I already cooked, and took care of my brother from age 1 through 8. I really appreciated having him. I loved taking him to get his 1st library card, and then I learned the bus system. I took him everywhere, to get pictures, then in school I went to parent teacher meetings. It never dawned on me how his teachers must have felt, in his kindergarten years I was 16. I loved those days. Our mom eventually was criminally charged for theft. But that didn’t cover a quarter of what she stole from us. She did no time. She did clean out my college savings my Gpa left for my college to bail out boyfriends. Anyway, I became pregnant at 17, I had plans and at that time I was fighting for custody of my brother. And once my child was born I had two jobs, my husband had no job. My daughter was taken away,, I was pregnant with my second child, they took her away minutes after I gave birth, even though my attorneys said that could not happen. Because I had never done any harm. But the state was suspicious of my husband. If they would have said that I would have left in a second. So I had a 3rd child by him. They didn’t take him. My biological father BTW, I met him during my first pregnancy for first time and was so happy he really wanted me. My biological father convinced me he was so sorry for missing out on my life he was here to prove himself and help me. He said, sign your two children over that the state was trying to keep to him and I could finally leave and start all over with a family that love me. He would hand them over as soon as I proved myself in court. So I believed him, I proved myself. I moved near him a few weeks later. All of a sudden found out he was on wife 4 or 5, she cldnt have her own children and he wanted to give her mine. So my children 2 out of three were living with my b I o dad, their brother was with me, all have same two parents. He wldnt give them back. My husband got mixed w drugs so I ditched him. I tried by myself. I’ve never been OK. My oldest two are 18 and 19. They know me, I know them. We still aren’t together. My bio still pays for a lot of their things, he tells them if they move back with me hr won’t pay anymore. He has a lot more money than me. It was all a way to hurt my mom. But it only hurts my babies and me. I have one more child who is 11, I’ve lived with her father for more than 12 years. He won’t allow me to leave. He won’t allow me to do anything he doesn’t approve first. I just want to start my own home with a job that can pay for my family. I’m so grateful for the health of my family, for the ability to know where my children are. I really need help finding a job that will allow me to move out and take care of all my babies and finally take a breath with them. My children hurt so much. I want to fix that. Its embarrassing that I’ve allowed this to happen. But please help. I want to make my children happy and safe.

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