There are so, so many things I’ve wanted to know about people who aren’t like me. If you’re a woman, a minority, not from the US or really anything but a 31-year-old white dude from Seattle who now lives in AZ, I want to know what makes you tick.
The Champ at VerySmartBrothas.com helped with the black people questions. Ladies, you’re up next.
1. Why are you always cold?
My girl sleeps in pants and a shirt, smothers herself in the covers, likes the thermostat at 80 and showers in water that would scald me. WHY?! Seeing as how women are more likely to have higher body fat percentages, shouldn’t they be equipped not to be cold? And this isn’t just a skinny woman problem. So, what’s up? Do you ever get hot? Why am I sweating while clad only in boxers while you radiate heat while you sleep yet never complain about being too hot?
2. Why would you wear high heels unless you absolutely had to?
I get what high heels do. I accept that they make women’s legs look great in dresses and skirts. What I don’t get is why you’d ever wear heels unless you were specifically dressing up. Heels with jeans? Shorts? Does it REALLY look that good? You know that’s not comfortable, and I guarantee most guys don’t care 99% of the time, so what’s up?
3. Why the faces? Why cock your head?
The duck face and the head lean are rampant. I see it everywhere. Ladies, some of you I have no issue with, but as for the rest of you…what is up with the faces you make in the camera? Why do you always lean your head to a side?
4. Why can’t you cook?
Back in the day the women cooked and the man worked. As we’ve moved out of the dark ages, men have learned to cook, take care of the kids and other domestic duties previously handled by women. Women have assimilated themselves into the job force, attend college in higher numbers than guys and are, for the most part, treated equally in nearly every way. Yet there are more women now that can’t cook than I’ve ever seen. Dudes can cook now, but ladies, why can’t you? Is this your way of getting back at society? (note that sharing is the best way to handle any domestic duty. I do not believe any one person should be responsible for the same chore every single time. Well, except breastfeeding.)
5. Why don’t you wear ponytails all the time?
Many dudes – okay, Hispanic/Latino and White guys – long to grow out their hair long enough to put it in a ponytail. It looks kinda tough, a bit worldly and you can have product discussions with the ladies. But women seem to do anything they can from putting their hair in a ponytail, but here’s a not-so-secret secret: dudes love ponytails. It shows the lady is low-maintenance and fun. High ponytails are also distinctly feminine. We love it. Why do so many women fight it so?
6. What’s the deal with words on your asses?
I’m sure those ultra-short workout shorts are comfy, but do you really need something across the ass? This looked weird when you did it in college and it looks ridiculous now. No man wants any part of that and I bet all the other girls hate you.
7. Why the sexual double standard?
Girl sleeps with a few dudes, she’s a slut. Girl says something bad about you, you call her a slut, which must mean that sleeping with a few dudes is bad. Why? You don’t care when us guys do it – unless we’re hitting some serious triple digits – so why do you care that someone of your gender does it? Are you jealous? Are you ashamed?
8. Why do you hate each other, yet pretend not to?
The amount of women who I’ve heard say they hate someone and then immediately turn around and talk to them is ridiculous. Not that they’re liars, although they are lying a bit, or that they’re two-faced, because I don’t think they’re meaning to be mean, but it’s weird. Seems to happen to more girls than guys, ‘though dudes do it too. We do it because we’re intimidated OR to show power. Yep, either one and no, I can’t tell you how to spot either.
9. What kind of underwear is actually most comfortable for you?
I know you can get used to thongs or no one would wear them, but they can’t be comfortable to wear. Couple that with women wearing low-cut jeans often showing off their butt crack and I get why thongs aren’t standard. But what are? What cuts do you like? What do lace and other fancy fabrics feel like? Are granny panties comfy?
10. Why haven’t you taken over the world yet?
We all hear that women are better in groups, better at handling children, better at learning and better at nearly everything that doesn’t require physical strength (even then there are exceptions), so why are you not in charge of everything yet? You are the heads of households, no matter how much money you make. You control the budgeting. You raise the kids. What’s stopping you?
Boy, that was fun.
(Disclaimer: if you’re offended by the nature of my questions, that’s cool, but my intent was not to imply anything by asking these. If you somehow think this is my way of saying “women should cook for me,” you’re wrong. Please either answer the questions honestly or go rant on your own blog. To all of the women who’ve answered, thank you.)
23 Comments on “10 questions I’ve always wanted to ask women”
I would like to tackle #1. It’s fully biological. It’s one of those things that I always thought men were just faking to be manly (‘Me large like bear. Never cold. Keep little girl warm.’) until I got pregnant for the first time and my body temp shifted up to match my husband’s. And then after I had the baby it dropped right back down. I don’t know what the root of it is, but we girls aren’t faking our chilliness any more than you boys are faking your sweatiness. (I take scalding hot showers too. Jason’s always like, ‘Why is your skin not melting off?’)
And as far as number 10 goes – we just did. While you were writing this post. The world is now ours. Please get in line to receive your sparkly job assignment card.
Oh, I don’t doubt that you are cold, just wish I could figure out WHY.
1. This is not me. Although in the odd moments when I am cold and I shouldn’t be, it’s low sugar. I need chocolate.
2. I don’t wear them, but when I did it was because “you’re supposed to” wear heels with a dress. I hear high heels make your butt look better but there’s no helping mine.
3. Blowjobs. Women look hotter when they’re looking at you from an angle. But for most pictures side tilts are more practical. Kind of come hither?
4. If I cook I eat more. Cooking is just a mess I have to clean up. And in my case, he disparaged everything I cooked anyway, so I stopped trying. Now I rarely bother.
5. Dude, ponytails are killer on the neck and cause headaches when you have long/thick hair. When you’re pulling hair for any length of time it gets really uncomfortable.
6. I don’t get it either.
7. I think it’s jealousy. I was considered one (when I was younger) and I think more straight-laced girls were jealous of the freedom. Girls are raised to save IT for the one guy they married, and even though times have changed it’s still frowned upon when don’t have some sort of standards.
8. We’re also raised to be polite at all costs. If you can’t be polite at least be civil. Ladylike.
9. Lace itches; no woman would chose lace except for a man. My daughter says once you get used to thongs, they’re quite comfortable. Yes, granny panties are comfortable but butt-ugly. The perfect underwear cover strategic areas and are made of cotton in the crotch. This is vital to avoiding yeast infections. (Hey, you asked) We also have to worry about panty-lines and then the low-cut waistlines so what you wear under those matters. Not wearing any at all is the most comfortable, but many women can’t handle the vulnerability. And here in AZ we have to worry about sweat absorption. It’s all problematic. I wore men’s tightie whities for years because they were the most comfortable.
10. We’re getting there. It’s been difficult fighting against men’s baser mentalities but as we release more women worldwide from their cultural slavery, we’re that much closer to world domination. We women are gaining strength. Honestly, no matter how hard we try we can’t alter men’s basic need to be on top.
And the mystery of #3 is now revealed. Makes perfect sense.
You know KFC is paying college girls to wear Double-Down on their butts? Smart but trashy.
So you KNEW I’d take a crack at this, right Tyler? How could I pass this up? 😉
1. Coming from a girl whose BMI is like 20%: not sure. Don would ask the same thing. Too many years of stress affecting circulation?
2. A. Heels are elongating and make you look taller and leaner; B. We’re trying to mimic the pages of fashion magazines; C. It’s really to catch the attention of other women; D. This is just me personally, but sometimes it’s fun to look like the bitch in heels giving off the don’t-fuck-with-me-vibe.
3. I’ll never understand the duck face either, but I tilt my head. Maybe it’s a mimicking fashion photography again, but I don’t like the way I look in pictures straight on.
4. We live in a society of convenience and processed foods where you don’t have to know how to cook anymore. See Mark Bittman’s TED Talks. My mother never taught me to cook. What I know, I’ve taught myself and picked up from working in a restaurant and watching the Food Network. I would put a disclaimer in your comment and say that “‘Many’ dudes can cook now.” Very true, as many women can cook, but not all. Plus, I’d also argue that guys mostly know how to grill and saute in a fry pan. It’s often willy nilly as opposed to a planned menu, following a recipe, etc.
5. Mmm, I do.
6. Amen. If I see one more little girl walking around with “Juicy” or “Pink” on her ass, I’m going to bitchslap her and the parents. It’s appalling.
7. Some double standards take a long time to die. This country was founded by Puritans and we still hold many prudish values. It’s not like this in Europe.
8. Women are raised to be delicate people-pleasers (and not always by our parents). Not to mention, the 1950’s set this country back 100 years. Be nice, be kind, be appropriate, be polite–especially in public and whether you mean it or not. Granted, many women don’t follow these directives into young adulthood and beyond, but they often remain like other aspects of child rearing. Many women feel compelled to be nice and polite even if when our hearts are far from in it.
9. Granny panties are granny panties for a reason. They’re effin’ comfy…mostly. Sometimes they’re too much fabric and get bunchy. Equate it to boxers (granny panties) vs. boxer briefs (bikini panties or boyshorts) vs. bikini briefs (thongs). I’m a bikini kinda girl. Thongs only when necessary. And I have to rant about the new “cheeky” panties. WTF? They don’t cover your ass, but they’re not a thong either. Plus, they ride up your ass like a thong, but it’s just more fabric in the crack of your ass. Pointless. Do you hear me, Victoria? Pointless.
10. Should we? Women are still working on equality, not domination. And it’s slowly, but surely evening out. We have a female secretary of state. You’re watching it happen. It’s just a slow process.
1. Why are you always cold?
— I am NEVER cold. In my relationship it’s quite the opposite. I sleep in as little as possible while my husband has four quilts, flannel pjs and wraps up like a burrito. I prefer the cold over the heat, and any temperature over 75 makes me uncomfortable.
2. Why would you wear high heels unless you absolutely had to?
— Girls dress for girls. I love looking at other girls shoes. Also, it feels more powerful. I like heels. Big surprise, right? 🙂
3. Why the faces? Why cock your head?
— Smooths out the fat neck.
4. Why can’t you cook?
— I CAN cook… and quite enjoy it actually.
5. Why don’t you wear ponytails all the time?
—You’ve met me, right? How many times have you seen me without a ponytail? I hate having hair in my face. But, my husband likes it curly and down, so when we are going out, I’ll usually leave it that way for at least a few hours.
6. What’s the deal with words on your asses?
— no. doesn’t happen.
7. Why the sexual double standard?
— I think only guys think its a double standard. I know way more men with ho like behavior than I do women.
8. Why do you hate each other, yet pretend not to?
— Girls are naturally competitive and mean to each other. This is why most of my friends are boys.
9. What kind of underwear is actually most comfortable for you?
— thongs are more comfortable than you think. my drawer is full of everything different. it depends on how fat i feel on a particular day.
10. Why haven’t you taken over the world yet?
—Uh, can you live without us? No? There ya go.
I also need to disagree with the gals who say thongs are comfortable. I completely disagree. I own some for pants and dresses that need a ‘no panty line’ look, but I do NOT wear them regularly. who likes the feeling of a perma-wedgie? i prefer the low-sitting, boy-short variety of undies.
Maybe if you wore them more often, you’d get used to them. Then you’d also need less laundry soap to wash clothes and you’d save space in your underwear drawer.
1. Why are you always cold?
Oddly enough I stay cold during the day but at night I burn up like I was on fire. The less clothes and comforters as possible works for me and I still put out enough heat to warm up Australia.
2. Why would you wear high heels unless you absolutely had to?
I don’t even own a pair of high heels.
3. Why the faces? Why cock your head?
Say what?
4. Why can’t you cook?
Nobody said I couldn’t, I just don’t like cooking for just me.
5. Why don’t you wear ponytails all the time?
Actually, I wear a ponytail daily. I can’t stand having hair in my face but yet I can’t stand short hair either so there you have it.
6. What’s the deal with words on your asses?
No words on my ass at anytime.
7. Why the sexual double standard?
This is beyond me, I have a few guy friends who are hoes but nobody says anything about it nor do I.
8. Why do you hate each other, yet pretend not to?
Not necessarily hate, and not all girls. It’s the competition man.
9. What kind of underwear is actually most comfortable for you?
I like the low rise myself. I will not wear butt floss.
10. Why haven’t you taken over the world yet?
Working on it.
1. I’m not. I’m usually hot. I like cold weather because I’m always hot.
2. Because I want to feel a little dressed up sometimes. Or because I want to show off. Or because they’re really pretty shoes but they don’t make them in flats. Or because I need to impress somebody and therefore want to look as tall and scary as possible.
3. I don’t do this, but I think the duck face is a failed attempt to do a sexy pout. HATE IT.
4. I am an EXCELLENT cook. I learned from my father.
5. I do almost daily. I have to change it up because I have so much hair that it pulls on my scalp when it’s up and gives me a headache.
6. Disgusting. NEVER EVER DO THIS.
7. I don’t judge as long as it’s all consenting adults and neither partner is doing it for a bad reason (like trying to force your partner to love you, or low self esteem related stuff).
8. Frequently it’s just detestation, but it’s just like with any working relationship or in a social circle where not everyone gets along. You maintain civility for the sake of the work/social group/etc. Common courtesy, even for people you dislike.
9. Bikinis for under low-rise stuff, grannies when nobody’s looking or when there’s no danger of it showing above low-slung pants. Thongs are only for when wearing something with a clingy kind of fabric that shows lines.
10. Working on it.
Only reason I wore Doc Marten boots was that they made me a little taller. Feels kinda badass. Must be similar for heels.
So grannies really are more comfy. Interesting.
I find it amusing the girls who chose to answer all made it clear “oh, *I’M* not like that.. which is the folly of these questionnaires. People (including men) generally don’t like to appear high maintenance though most are. The reality is that despite men saying often that they’d love a low maintenance woman, this is clearly untrue. Low maintenance translates to unshaved legs, mustaches, florence henderson haircuts and orthopedic shoes. Its a misnomer. What you really want is “regular maintenance” women.
That said, the answer to your questions are generally fairly obvious. Women wear high heels, thongs, make geographically poor choices in literature, put on ludicrous faces in pictures, eschew ponytails, etc because we’re been conditioned to want to be sexy and that is the sad embodiment of sexy today. Sexy=power. Cooking does not =power. Granted, you may be more enlightened, but even I, and I think we can ALL agree I’m about the least sexy or girly woman on earth (but henderson hair would be pushing it), understand clearly that in a room of men, leveraging sex is how we escape being viewed as your sister or mother.
As for being cold… no idea. As for taking over the world…. because the women in the best position- the most brilliant, the most savvy, the most positioned…. are viewed as “bitches” and the middle states are anything is not bitch-adverse.
Buzz kill.
you say that as if you were surprised. i’m like the least qualified person in the room to answer this thing.
What about “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”?… Also Dr Kevin Leiman wrote a book “Sex begins in the kitchen”…. So maybe cooking is under-rated?
Oh and I’ll answer the head tilt thing in the AM, Though I’m not female, I believe I’m qualified to answer that one. 🙂
1. Would rather have cold than warm. ANY day. I’ve been trying for years to get my family to move to the east coast, not just for family but the snow in winter!
2. I’m 5’2″. That’s really the only reason I like to torture myself with high heels, but I don’t wear them as often as I used to.
3. I hate having my picture taken, and I simply think I look better with my head slightly turned than a straight at me shot. And now it’s just habit so oh well.
4. I hate to cook. I REAAAALY have to want to, and that’s not very often. And I don’t get any help, it’s pretty much me who has to do it, so I tired of it quickly. But when I do cook, I think I do all right. I also HAVE to read instructions, I can’t just whip up something on the fly or else it will taste like shit for sure.
5. Every gal I see usually has their hair in a ponytail, unless their hair is too short for one. Guess it’s an age thing? A lot of us older gals aren’t as concerned with the sexy factor, and we’re totally cool with it. For the most part, at any rate.
6. I don’t understand the words on the ass thing either, I guess it’s just more of that younger trashy look that girls think for some reason is cool.
7. I call men sluts too.
8. Being 2-faced is rather annoying, but I do it too. However in some cases I have to, when say my daughter is friends with someone and I really just don’t like her Mom. Or in Scouts and having to deal with certain parents. Sometimes you have to tolerate other people.
9. I’ve been wearing cotton undies for over a decade. Except when I was pregnant, then it was granny panties to cover the huge belly. No, they are not comfortable, but I won’t wear anything other than cotton. If I don’t get a wedgie, and they don’t roll down under my muffin-top, then I’m happy. Now I need to find an appropriate running undie, for when I don’t wear shorts that have the ones attached.
10. I could do a 20 part series on why we haven’t taken over the world yet. The short answer is the world is just not ready for women to run it.
Ha, great questions. I’ll answer a couple. I’m an unapologetically promiscuous, married (open marriage) vixen who loves black lace underwear, who hates high heels but wears them to make my legs look leaner and who can cook the shit out of just about anything. Seriously I just made zucchini bread today and homemade granola yesterday.
Now you, I think I could like!
Homemade granola? That sounds really good.
1. Why are you always cold?
I love the blankets, wear socks around the house, take scalding showers and sleep in flannel sheets – the weird thing is, I’m not really cold. I think I just like to be warm and snuggly instead of room temperature.
2. Why would you wear high heels unless you absolutely had to?
Sometimes the clothes I choose to wear look better with heels than with flats. I’m 5’10” so I wear flats when I can get away with it.
3. Why the faces? Why cock your head?
I don’t, but my daughter does. She’s actually very pretty without the duck face. It’s tragic.
4. Why can’t you cook?
I learned to cook because I love food and I can eat everything I love cheaper in my kitchen than I can in a restaurant. Many of my friends can’t cook, though. They say their mothers never taught them. Maybe it’s related to more women entering the workforce? When they came home from work at the end of the day, they had a hungry family to feed and taking the time to teach their daughter how to cook was just that much longer that everyone waited for dinner.
5. Why don’t you wear ponytails all the time?
Ponytails are handles – would you want to wear a handle on YOUR head all day long? No, because hair is heavy and when you put it in a ponytail, all that weight is centralized in one spot and it hurts.
6. What’s the deal with words on your asses?
You said these were questions for women, not girls. Only girls wear words on their asses – grown women won’t. I have to clarify that I believe a female of 23 can be classified as a woman and a female of 43 can be classified as girl – it’s not an age thing, it’s a maturity thing.
7. Why the sexual double standard?
I’ve never understood that one either. Who cares. Male or female, sleep with whoever you want as many times as you want – just use protection. UNLESS – you’re stepping outside the bounds of a relationship you promised to honor. Then I have some other words I use.
8. Why do you hate each other, yet pretend not to?
Most women dislike confrontation. Yeah, I’m not in that camp. I don’t seek it out, but I don’t shrink from it either. I make a lot of people uncomfortable because I’m candid. If I don’t like you, I don’t like you. I’m not bitchy about it, I just don’t see a reason to pretend and if I don’t like you, I don’t give you any of my spare time by talking about you. I have other things to keep me occupied. That said, if I see you on the street I’ll be polite and offer common courtesy – because that’s just the grown up thing to do.
9. What kind of underwear is actually most comfortable for you?
None. None underwear is the most comfortable for me. Thongs run a far 2nd and Granny Panties are right out. Why? I don’t care what you wear them with, they end up all bunched between your cheeks. Then you have to get them out and I defy any woman to do that in a subtle, sexy manner.
10. Why haven’t you taken over the world yet?
It’s adorable that you men still think you’re in charge around here.
1. Why are you always cold?
Many of us women have are slightly hypothyroid tendencies, which regulates all the cyclical processes and heat/cold production. Many of us carry repressed sexuality in our hips and this tends to cut off the circulation to the lower half of our bodies. If you’re a heterosexual guy, imagine living in a town of gay men who are constantly coming on to you to get an idea of the onslaught of come-ons women must figure out how to rebuff – without directly offending.
2. Why would you wear high heels unless you absolutely had to?
I’m not qualified to answer this question, because I already have the long legs and height that heels offer. Sometimes I wear heels so people will look me up and down, because heels make me 6’4.”
3. Why the faces? Why cock your head?
To feign interest and show concern; one of my ears hears better than the other. It’s how we manage our natural skepticism without offending. Really, you guys should let us talk more often, instead of doing the monologue thing which leaves us the only recourse to look at you adoringly. It’s like puppies who cock their head to show curiosity, it makes us look charming.
4. Why can’t you cook?
I can, I’m just tired of doing it because it evolves into being a tacit agreement. As soon as us women start doing any sort of housework, it becomes an obligation, so I try to use my negotiation skills. I’m much more interested in cooking WITH someone else than cooking FOR them.
5. Why don’t you wear ponytails all the time?
Because my hair is long enough so it swings into whatever I’m doing and drags my neck around. Would rather tie it up in a few knots or with a rag.
6. What’s the deal with words on your asses?
I’m not qualified to answer this one.
7. Why the sexual double standard?
Funny, I was going to ask you guys about that. Most of us would like to peacefully assume that no girl is going to mess with the guy they have claimed. So it’s a big exclusion if we accuse another gal of doing just that. But really, it’s only later when you realize that nobody “makes” anyone do what they don’t want to do.
8. Why do you hate each other, yet pretend not to?
Because we want them to be civil to us – and if someone knows you do hate them, they might take action against you directly via spreading rumors, false accusations, etc. Think of how tricky it is to defend yourself against a rumor of child sex offense, and you get the idea how we feel about the power of gossip.
9. What kind of underwear is actually most comfortable for you?
I’m with the “none” – if I can get away with it under dresses that’s the best. Next best is the granny undies – they’re actually comfortable, only they show underneath clothes. I only wear undies to keep the pants clean longer. Why would you wanna know this one?
10. Why haven’t you taken over the world yet?
Too many of us have converted to the religion of Humblism, which doesn’t allow aggression, bragging, etc. It’s a big mess to clean up after all you guys. Plus, there’s so many derogatory terms for everything a woman does that we’re trapped in catch-22, the strategies of politics, which we hate because it’s easier to just work behind the scenes and let you guys get the glory. Leaders still need that first daring follower, who gets behind our brilliant ideas & helps them happen – and the guys don’t wanna follow us because they’re still rebelling; they still relate to women in control as if we’re their mommies or that our direction takes away their manhood.
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1. I don’t know biologically but its just so warm and comforting
2. Heels are.great especially if you’re petite and hate it. But i suppose celebs and magazines show us how good it looks to spice up a plain pair of jeans! Also heels under 4 inches are fine for everyday clothes.
3. Every woman knows she has a best angle or side for photos. Plus its more interesting than just looking boringly into the lens of a camera.
4. I can’t answer this because im actually a chef which shows how much I love cooking lol.
5. Ponytails are pretty much wait….yeah THE plainest most boring hairstyle on this planet. Woman don’t need help looking plain. We want to look sexy, exotic,glamorous at the very least not be mistaken for a librarian. So unless its a high ponytail whilst in a dominatrix suit forget it mate!
6. ive always hated words on asses. So ghetto and the word on the bum is usually untrue to the wearer of said item. So its all lies.
7. The term slut is often used as a comfort blanket for girls who feel threatened by/are jealous of other girls. There’s 3 kinds of the word slut. 1st is a girl who genuinely broke the switch that closes her legs and so let’s any and every man pass through like check in at work. 2nd is actually a slightly sarcastic greeting we use for each other ‘hey bitch I missed you’ ‘me too I love you slut’. 3rd when a girl sees and badly dislikes another girl whose sexual activity remains public she’s ASKING to be called a slutwhore!
8. To appear friendly, to not cause extra drama, to not make themselves an obvious target of hatred. Helps remind us why we dont like her in case we forget and wonder why. I dont do it because i can’t be fucking bothered to fake smile for some reason it hurts me teeth lool.
9. My favourite underwear are French panties with lace trimmings followed by boy shorts. They’re the classiest sort yet show enough butt and lace to become sexy. Cheap lace is horrible and itchy but actual lace feels soft and barely noticable apart from light tickles. Granny panties are for period especially painful ones and thongs were never my thing.
10. Sometimes its satisfying enough being the drive behind the vehicle. I think being the infrastructure is more rewarding than the outside face which takes the credit. It’s more rewarding. Plus running the world would be a walk in the park compared to all that women do already. So what woman take the challenge? 😉