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We are not famous

by tdhurst · 14 comments

The privacy siege has begun. This was inevitable, could have been predicted from a mile away and you will lose. We all will.

stage 223x300 We are not famous

And it’s our fault. We all wanted to be famous, yet we weren’t willing to accept the consequences. We wanted our promised 15 minutes of fame and instead became famous to 15 people and now we’re pissed.

Mark Zuckerberg told us this would happen. While he certainly had a vested interest in making sure it happened, he isn’t the one to blame. We all are.

Don’t try to tell me that Zuckerberg and Facebook have gone rogue. That’s a bullshit cop out. We, you and me, asked for this the second we started becoming friends with people online that we either didn’t know or had no real interest in. We let these unfriends into our lives and reveled in it.

Everyday happenings are now revered. People sit around and reward self-deprecating wannabe wordsmiths. We made going to work, the store and home a social function. Mommy bloggers became famous for sharing their fairly normal, usually gross and nearly always irrelevant personal stories. We all wanted a piece of that fame, and most of us did not get it.

And now the pundits are quitting. Well, not deleting, but deactivating, their Facebook accounts. Those MOST responsible for the privacy war are bailing out once they FINALLY realize they never had control in the first place.

We saw it coming. Now you, me and the entire world is addicted. Sure, it may not be as bad for us as meth, but it’s an addiction all the same. We’re addicted to being connected. We’re addicted to attention and we’re addicted to information.

Those of us who live our digital lives the same way we live our analog ones don’t care about any of this. We didn’t censor, we didn’t put up pictures from keg parties and we didn’t create a persona. We were real, and the ones who are quitting were not.

To all of those people, all the fakers, I say good riddance. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

  • meganmatthieson

    You're mad today Tyler. Or, as I like to say. Ted. But I'm not feeling you like I usually do. I never friended strangers on Face. But I've let them in via Twitter. And I'm connecting with my blog- to strangers. And I LOVE THEM. A small connection made over thousands of miles? That you find someone that shares this one deeply felt thought or fear or joy with you? That rocks my world. But I don't buy into ALL the connecting. I generally don't LIKE or Fan things on Face. I'm very PARTICULAR and absolutely DISCERNING. It's about quality- which I think is there for the choosing. Thanks for posting, even when you're a bit mad. I like your work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=590597733 Randy Kinkel

    If you go into Facebook with the mindset of “everything I put there is public information” then privacy is regulated at the finger tips, not by some computer/entity/site. Personally, I friended LOTS of people I don't know, because I thought it would be fun/interesting to see what they had to say and maybe get to know them.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    My approach exactly. I freaking love it.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    I love all this stuff, I'm just tired of people complaining when they get exactly what they signed up for.

  • http://www.urbanubiety.com Noelle

    This is great. I get annoyed with people complaining about elements of Facebook that they have control over. I block and hide apps. I limit what some people can see. I used to have a “friends in real life only” policy, but there are a few people – friends of friends I just haven't met yet, etc – who I've had a great time getting to know better through Facebook.

    It's not just the tool, it's how you use it. I'd rather be real and risk offending someone than live of a life of constant self-censorship. It's a fun medium to play with.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    I've met plenty of people first through Twitter or Facebook. I love it.

  • http://twitter.com/imkilo Tan Kilo on Facebook

    I disagree. Right after I got out of college Facebook “hit” my town and all my friends back in school signed up. They liked that it was exclusive, and if you had to have a “dot edu” email address they figured it was the perfect place to be able to be themselves online and give Facebook their real name, picture, email, etc. I recall thinking that was a good thing, what a great way to protect yourself from scammers and fakers (which were everywhere in 2003).
    Fast forward to the day when Facebook allowed any anonymous web mail account to signup for an account, and then decides it would be better for them if everything you put on facebook was accessible to everyone, not just those people you have white listed to have access (Friends).

    Those people who signed up in 2003 didn't want to be famous. They wanted to be able to share/communicate only with their white list, and now, if they aren't careful, their data is exposed to the world and they can't delete their accounts or change their account names to protect themselves.

    It's as if tomorrow AOL/Juno/Hotmail/Yahoo/Google decided it would be better if all the email ever sent was public, and didn't let you erase anything.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    You signed up for a free service. You agreed to every change in user rights every time.

    Why would anyone, at any time, post sensitive information on a network they don't control? The naivete of the people who joined up right away astounds me.

    And yes, I was one of those people, but I've never posted anything incriminating on there.

  • http://twitter.com/imkilo Tan Kilo on Facebook

    Me being the paranoid person I am, I've kept the sensitive stuff off the networks I don't control.

    However, my point is that 7 years ago (a lifetime in internet years) Facebook was considered to be as private as email. And I know I can't pass the “I've never emailed something sensitive” test, and I would wager you can't either ;-)

    And again, I defend those people because they didn't want to be famous to the world, they were white listing friends by name. Facebook has betrayed them.

    My Point: I think you are being hard on long time Facebook users, saying they wanted to be famous, my defense for them is they didn't want to be famous, and they viewed Facebook as private as you and I view email now.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    True, but I bet most long-time facebook users aren't the ones making
    all the fuss and complaining.

    They'd certainly be an exception, though I bet they are a very silent
    minority.

  • http://www.socialreflections.com Shailesh

    Intersting take. I've been on these networks fully aware that I could be exposed at any time. I've tried to limit the exposure and only kept things as open as necessary. I purged my Gacebook friends list of anyone I hadn't personally known for at least a few months. I never accepted apps, never played games, just looked at friends pictures and followed links they shared. I'm seriously considering bailing on Facebook not only for privacy reasons but because it's gotten to be pretty useless. The thrill is gone and the time it sucks is pathetic. The value of knowing your college room-mates kids first teeth came out is just not there.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    Call me an old man, but the reason I joined and liked Facebook was when I could only share pictures and stories with the people I was closest to. In college, those were my classmates, after that, my family and long-lost friends.

    But beyond that, it's such overkill. Isn't anything personal anymore? And I don't mean private, because that notion is dead, but I don't understand why people friend thousands of people they don't know or have never met. There CAN'T be enough upside to make that worth it.

  • http://twitter.com/CrysOHara Crystal O'Hara

    Great blog. I know a lot of people who want to be famous and never will be. I also saw the writing on the wall a while ago. I've always kept up with the privacy level on all the networking sites I belong to. No matter what if you are online there's always a risk of your personal information getting out there. It's been like that since the early in the 90's when a majority of the people started venturing out on the net.

  • Anonymous

    There’s been a revival of this in the sphere lately, so glad you brought it back to the forefront.

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