Too many feminists are cultists

I think trying to define feminism is tricky. As with any “ism” there are very diverse opinions. I consider myself a “feminist” – but for a long time I shied from the word because of the “angry” image it conjured up. Then I learned that there are other “factions” of feminism – including lipstick feminism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipstick_feminism

I think you could argue that anyone who obsessively follows one website can be a little cultist. But realize that the readers of Marc’s post (which only got 6 comments – your post was obviously far more popular) are also just a tiny subset of the readers of feministing. And readers of feministing are only a small subset of women who would define themselves as feminists.

I think it’s important for our culture to have these discussions. It’s too bad that some feminists misrepresent and start name-calling – because intelligent discussion on these topics are key. So thank you, Tyler, for putting it out there.

And you’re right – I personally take no offense to the term “ladies.” When it comes to defining misogyny, I think it’s about intent. To quote a certain justice of the supreme court, “I know it when I see it.”

You know what I think makes for a real feminist? Not letting anybody else in the world but me define what kind of woman I am.

As I sit here in my sundress (even though I’m not one of the young women you were referring to, Tyler dear) I completely agree with both of the posts. I’ve noticed there seems to be lack of ladies out there. Women are either dressing as hootchies or completely covering up any clue that they are different than men. I think Tyler was suggesting that more women look in the mirror and remember that they are NOT men and can be feminine as well as equal.

The problem with – and likely the reason why feminists as a group are losing ground – is the anger and bitterness their die-hard believers have towards anyone who doesn’t completely agree with them. I think the early feminists have paved enough of the equality highway that women can go back to looking and feeling pretty without losing any of the ground they’ve gained.

Women can be powerful and attractive. They don’t have to choose anymore.

I think that I, like many feminists who would have a problem with what you said, have no problem with looking good. I have a closet full of dresses and almost never wear pants – but thats a personal choice. The problem I had with your post was the implication that women somehow owe something to men, and vice versa. The idea that men must act a certain way- support their wife monetarily, be “strong” and “rugged” etc. and that, in return, women should dress in a way that pleases men, and be adept at domestic tasks is one that I believe is outdated.

While I respect women and men who identify with those traits and choose to embody them, to express unhappiness at the lack of people displaying those traits in modern society is a form of pressure, an attempt to guilt women and men into acting in a way that may be incongruous with their inner desires.

I respect your opinion and hope that you meet a woman in your own life who fulfills your image of the ideal woman… I just wish you’d recognize that not every woman wants to, or should want to be ultra-feminine and not every man is looking for a stereotypically feminine woman. My philosophy in life is “live and let live” and, in my opinion, that’s what feminism is all about. Have your ideals, by all means, but please don’t write posts complaining that people don’t adhere to them and I won’t write posts complaining about people who aren’t just like me.