tdhurst

(you can call me tyler)
“It's time to stop hiding behind brands, corporate policies or the way things used to be. Evolve. Get better. Let's learn from each other. It's called the Collaboration Revolution. Welcome to the Relationship Age.” - Tyler Hurst
Nov 19th 2009
Tags: random musings

How Twilight is just like real life

Ha! Twilight is nothing like real life.

First, vampires like to have sex. Lots. Blade, the most realistic vampire movie ever, shows this right away. Vampires getting blowjobs, having orgies, hell Stephen Dorff’s character (coolest vampire hair ever) screwed Blade’s mom!

Also, Twilight vampire boy (Edward?) refuses to screw the hot chick (Bella?). Seriously? Obviously, Edward is gay. Way gay. Seeing as how he bites people’s necks for food. we know he’s not holding out because of some statutory rape crap. So he’s gay.

Next, there’s a clan? Like a whole group of vampires? NOBODY REALIZES THIS? Blade would have stomped those weak-ass vampires in a second. How? Seduce them with some Lady Gaga and then stake them bitches.

So, in a nutshell, Twilight is totally false.

Posted via email from Tyler says…

Share

You haven't subscribed yet?

0

Right to your inbox, free!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Click below to subscribe for free

Tyler on Flickr

Could barely fit this in my mouth, let alone swallow it all.IMG_2245IMG_2243IMG_2246IMG_2241IMG_2242IMG_2210IMG_2223IMG_2209
ss_blog_claim=e291686bb909c06f828830e60940c508 ss_blog_claim=e291686bb909c06f828830e60940c508
  • krystoferJames
    you have only just scratched the surface... but i thank you for your service to our nation - NAY - humanity.

    God bless you, Tyler Hurst... God bless you.
  • Tyler Hurst
    I'm more jealous of Stephanie Meyer. What a cash cow!
  • Chris Lee
    I think you're just trying to cover up the fact that you're a Twilight fan boy. It's ok. Those of us that really do like Blade won't look down on you too much if you admit your Twilight obsession. :-P
  • Anonymous
    I'm forwarding this to every 12 year old I know. Get prepared for their wrath! :-P
  • Dani
    LOL, I love you Tyler! It makes up for the horrible experience last night. Almost. The things I do for my child. *DONT_KNOW*
  • Debbie
    ZOMG! You just don't understaaaaaaaaaand! This is true love! Edward is protecting his twue love because the force of his (is this an r-rated blog?) is just too much for the average human! He wuvs her and is waiting for her to graduate High School AND become the magical age of 18 before he turns her and thus making her strong enough to withstand the penis of doom! TRUE LOVE!

    You're just so lame.
  • Derek Neighbors
    best post evar
blog comments powered by Disqus

Search

The archives run deep. Feel free to search older content using topic keywords.

Archives

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes