Ha! Twilight is nothing like real life.
First, vampires like to have sex. Lots. Blade, the most realistic vampire movie ever, shows this right away. Vampires getting blowjobs, having orgies, hell Stephen Dorff’s character (coolest vampire hair ever) screwed Blade’s mom! Also, Twilight vampire boy (Edward?) refuses to screw the hot chick (Bella?). Seriously? Obviously, Edward is gay. Way gay. Seeing as how he bites people’s necks for food. we know he’s not holding out because of some statutory rape crap. So he’s gay. Next, there’s a clan? Like a whole group of vampires? NOBODY REALIZES THIS? Blade would have stomped those weak-ass vampires in a second. How? Seduce them with some Lady Gaga and then stake them bitches. So, in a nutshell, Twilight is totally false.How Twilight is just like real life
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best post evar
ZOMG! You just don’t understaaaaaaaaaand! This is true love! Edward is protecting his twue love because the force of his (is this an r-rated blog?) is just too much for the average human! He wuvs her and is waiting for her to graduate High School AND become the magical age of 18 before he turns her and thus making her strong enough to withstand the penis of doom! TRUE LOVE!
You’re just so lame.
LOL, I love you Tyler! It makes up for the horrible experience last night. Almost. The things I do for my child. *DONT_KNOW*
I’m forwarding this to every 12 year old I know. Get prepared for their wrath!
I think you’re just trying to cover up the fact that you’re a Twilight fan boy. It’s ok. Those of us that really do like Blade won’t look down on you too much if you admit your Twilight obsession.
I’m more jealous of Stephanie Meyer. What a cash cow!
you have only just scratched the surface… but i thank you for your service to our nation – NAY – humanity.
God bless you, Tyler Hurst… God bless you.
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