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Everything feels like it belongs there

by tdhurst · 18 comments

Every time I come home I feel a twinge of nostalgia. From my parents’ house to my grade school and my first job to my first girlfriend, every significant moment in the first 24 years of my life happened in or near Kent, WA. For many of the people I grew up with, this familiarity convinced them to stay and make the Seattle metro area home for the rest of their lives, too. And I know why, as the summers are beautiful, the people are friendly and just about every type of entertainment, indoor or outdoor, is within a few hours’ drive.

mummy mountain 300x224 Everything feels like it belongs thereI moved to Phoenix for graduate school. Packed up my car with all my clothes, my laptop and my sporting equipment and set out for Tempe and ASU just over eight years ago. While many assumed my plan was to get my degree, pack up and come home, I had other ideas. You see, I never finished my graduate degree. I came close, but due to some unfortunate circumstances, a few very bad breaks and an arrogance in receiving an education that was less helpful as the semesters went by, I left ASU as a grad school dropout with something like 12 credits remaining. I still regret it.

But that’s not why I’m still in Phoenix. I’ve struggled to call this place home, as it doesn’t make sense to me. Nothing is where it seems it SHOULD be. Towns pop up out of nowhere, strip malls and mini-communities can be found at every major intersection and most of the people who live here want to be left alone. Phoenix metro is a manufactured, planned community devised by a mad scientist who just wanted to screw with people. This attitude of hoarding and reluctantly sharing has permeated everything I’ve been involved in, from magazines to Gangplank. The wide-open but finite amount of resources and man-power in the Valley means many of us don’t seem to live together, we only tolerate each other.

Similar to TSA now checking for not allowed items instead of protecting our safety, Phoenix metro’s people seem to go through the motions, and nothing more, when it comes to anything beyond themselves. There are exceptions, but those people are usually ones who have either already made their money or make it from other sources, and as such have no real skin in the game.

Arizona has a long ways to go. Our state needs to stop abiding by the rule of old white people and outdated, traditional methods and businesses, and embrace a new level of awareness and acceptance. We need to start thinking more about what we need and not just about we want. We need to continue working together on projects that will benefit everyone. We need to realize that decades of AZ growth has been toxic to our ability to excel, or even function, in a global economy where growth just isn’t the driving force anymore.

Home Loan3 300x270 Everything feels like it belongs thereDoing this isn’t easy, and we’re all to blame. While I certainly have not always been a shining example of teamwork, I recognize that we’re all in this together. Events like CenPhoCamp, All Out, PodcampAZ and now Startup Weekend are my attempts at using my strength, pissing people off enough that they’ll realize how awesome they are and actually accomplish something, to get everyone on the same page and hopefully transfer that energy into a lasting feeling that brings people and ideas a little closer together.

I am not rich. In fact, I probably make less money than you do. My participation in anything in Phoenix metro is due to me loving the experience, not the outcome. It’s not about being seen in the cool places – though hanging with Si Robins always ups my cred – nor is it about being friends with the cool people – Mark Dudlik secretly despises is often disappointed in me – or even expanding my brand (I hate myself for even saying or thinking that). It’s about creating a sense of place, a sense of community and a sense of belonging that the many transplants in AZ seem to lack.

It’s about trying my damndest to feel like I, more so than the strip malls, golf courses and planned communities, actually belong here. It’s about making a home. Because in the end, we all talk about living. But no one really lives until they know they’re dying.

And we, just like the real-estate economy, are our state’s chance at being looked at as anything but old-fashioned and out of touch, are dying a little bit more every day. Our home, yours and mine, deserves better. Had any of this happened in our original home town, we’d all be up in arms. We’d fight back. And that’s really what separates a house from being a home and a city from being a community: the willingness to do anything to protect it.

  • Dmurrow

    My wife and I had dinner this weekend with a couple we’ve recently met – Chicago transplants who’ve been here 8 years. When I asked them what activities they like to do around PHX, they replied jauntily “We don’t go out or do anything..except work and play with our dogs.” Seemed they were happy in their little utopian world bungalow. Ugh.

    And don’t even get me started on the blank stares I get when I invite N. PHX types I know to First Friday Sept 3rd at PHX Art Museum – “What’s First Friday”? or “”Gee I haven’t been to the PHX Art Museum in years…”

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    This isn’t really home to anyone. It’s sad.

  • Anonymous

    They’re happy with their lives. what do you care?

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    Because any community is only as strong as its weakest link.

  • Anonymous

    First, I agree with a lot of what you said here—The Valley has been my home for 17 years. what’s sad is people coming from somewhere else and thinking/hoping/wanting things to be just like where they left. what’s sad is trying to create something you had before in another place without stopping to think about the fact that it might not work in exactly the same way here as it did in that other place, or that you might have to approach it another way, or it might actually end up having to be another thing altogether than what you originally had in mind. I’m not saying this is you, I’m just thinking out loud here. It’s fairly annoying to me to have relative newcomers come in and wring ther hands about a lack of “community” or lack of sharing or something. I kind of don’t understand what you’re talking about. to me it sounds like you haven’t been able to get anybody to give you something or do something you want, and you’re upset about it.

  • Anonymous

    But being angry with people just because they don’t like to do anything but work and play with their dogs is, at best, misdirected energy.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    Phoenix has had a shitty community for the eight years I’ve been here. The fact that might suit you fine is irrelevant to me, and I bet there are plenty of people that feel the same way.

    If you want to continue your ways, that’s fine, but my post and overall direction is because I’m looking to find others like me who are after something a little bit more. Sometimes all people need is a reason.

    And no, I’m not going out of my way to change the minds of those who don’t care, or I would have just sent those people an email.

  • Anonymous

    I’m trying to understand what you mean by a “Shitty Community”.

  • Anonymous

    what would make it less shitty?

  • Anonymous

    People contribute to their communities in different ways, some of which might not be readily apparent. creating and participating in a sense of community and sharing is different for everyone. maybe it’s their neighborhood, or their church, or their local town politics, or the region’s environmental issues, whatever, it means different things to different people. I’m trying to find out what it means to you. specifically.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    By shitty community I mean everyone seems to keep to themselves and instead of having a downtown or similar gathering place where we could meet people, we create shopping malls every 15 miles where neighborhoods congregate. East Valley is too far for the West Valley, downtown Phoenix is too ghetto for North Phoenix, etc.

    It seems most of the people who came to live here came to be left alone.

  • Anonymous

    OK, I see what you mean.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    Take note, the PEOPLE aren’t shitty. I’m sure there are lots of great people who’d rather just be left alone, but that’s unfortunate.

  • Anonymous

    OK, I see what you mean. I know this is an old idea, but maybe the solution is that the gathering places have to be more local, and there’s not going to BE a central place for everybody. Taking the whole metro area as one community might not be a viable model. it’s too big– it has gone way beyond a comfortable human scale… walkable? hell, it’s barely driveable! so some of the problem is a matter of scale and convenience, time and energy, and what people have the time and energy for. Central Phoenix seems to be on the way to creating a human-scale walkable community, it seems to be getting a little better every day. but it’s got a long way to go.

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    There is no doubt of that, but desert ride, city north, tempe marketplace, chandler mall, mesa riverview (you get the point) seem to be AZ’s answer to community gathering points and since the govt and economy seem to be run by developers, that’s all we get.

    Sterilized, homogenous and national chains don’t do us any good. And the places I mentioned aren’t exactly overflowing.

  • Anonymous

    I agree.

  • Jared Bodnar

    As a Phoenix native, I have a different perspective because I can’t compare this to ‘back home.’ I agree that there is a lack of community here simply because there are so many transplants and so few natives, so people don’t feel that ownership and sense of belonging. Plus, as you mentioned, people feel the need to barricade themselves in their homes and behind their 6-foot-tall block walls, everything is so spread out for a variety of reasons and the aforementioned big-box retailer-driven developments are not conducive for meeting up. However, I have hope. I think there are a lot of natives like myself and transplants alike who want to build a stronger sense of belonging and community here in the Phoenix area among all residents (you’re obviously one of them). I think it needs to start with supporting local businesses, building more of a knowledge-based economy here and encouraging true innovation (not the manufactured kind. The real, raw, creative kind).

  • http://tdhurst.com tdhurst

    Yes sir, and that starts with us leading by example.

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